These are the darkest hours,
painful moments that drag on forever.
The unused gift becomes the user’s curse.
The saddest smile on Earth.
But it is addictive,
this sweet negative.
As the night wears on,
thoughts border on suicide,
all the time is mine on my side.
Regretting nothing and everything,
past/present/future – tortures my mind.
Every feeling is down,
got to get high to be low.
Loner king with no subjects around,
so I lay on the ground in the snow.
I am The Uninvited,
never lover,
so short sighted.
This is holy loneliness,
drawn out my sick state of mind.
Salvation in lines on the table,
almost convinced to mainline.
This angst and loser apathy,
known only to the denied.
Don’t know remorse,
or rejection,
when all the nerve endings are fried.
I’m not going to wait anymore.
Longing , all I need for
digging , let the heart race;
through darkness find my place.
There’s no saving the unloved,
the lack of exposure is fine.
I’m sick with Death’s withdrawals,
happy just wasting time.
All the time in the night is hell,
without the release that I need to live;
everything else is just teasing.
Crawl so far down,
deep in myself.
Need nothing,
no one;
fuck everyone else.
When you’re inside,
can’t tell friend from foe.
In these dark times I wonder;
where did the music go?
I’ll break this fucking lack
and bring the music back,
before life fades to black.
HG – 2000-2005
