Do I suffer to see the failing,
or fail to see the suffering?
There’s something rustling
in my hedgerow,
what I don’t know,
is when the other hammer falls,
as mine is falling now.
Have I wasted every opportunity,
or have I just been fucking wasted?
Have I tasted of the waters,
and been saved and then erased?
I’m a case of nut or head,
you made your choice now best embrace it.
You and I just serve the nerve,
now I’m here eviscerated.
Empty…..left…..open…..
nothing within but emotion,
because I haven’t got the guts
to hold you down beneath the ocean.
Come little children
with sharp little daggers
cut me away
‘til my prison’s in tatters,
then go get your mother
she’ll know what’s the matter;
why I’m shattered and after
another disaster.
Purging the filth is like
crawling through broken glass
I can’t tell you why
I keep crawling, so don’t even ask.
I’ve lost sight of the reason
I even began this charade.
I’m complaining to shadows
and waiting for my fear to fade.
-It never fades
-It’ll never change
-It stays the same
Rips through me like a bullet
to the brain.
Graves just can’t contain this much pain.
-I never stopped suffering
I just kept wondering,
how far I had to go
until I could stop running.
-but it just keeps coming….
… it just keeps coming….
…always coming…
….so much fucking suffering…..
Looks like it’s time to turn
and face the monster in my head.
Looks like it’s the last stand,
I’ve had too much to pretend,
that I’m not really preparing
for war with my own hands;
the time has come to quit running
from suffering,
I know you’ll understand.
HG – 2014
